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Why should Deepika Padukone ‘seek permission’ from Ranveer Singh for intimate scenes? Analysing rampant sexism – #BigStory | Hindi Movie News
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Yes, take a moment to barf on that and we can give you an endless list of ways our actresses were subjected to ludicrous questions and remarks that will make you wonder what century we are living in. Anushka Sharma was asked during ‘Sultan’ if she’d give up her career for love. Kareena Kapoor Khan was criticised for leaving Taimur at home and resuming her work soon after pregnancy. Kangana Ranaut gave an apt reply when she was questioned about the ‘shelf life’ of an actress. And Deepika steered clear of a sexist remark when a journalist assumed ‘Chhapaak’ had Ranveer Singh’s money invested in it by saying ‘ghar ka paisa laga hua hai’.
Coming back to doing intimate scenes after marriage, when was the last time an actor was asked if he ‘took permission’ from his wife for a scene? NEVER. And what makes people think it’s their place to have a say either? It’s 2022 where, on one hand, we boast of women empowerment and on the other fail to get out of the age old mindset. In this week’s #BigStory, we explore what industry insiders have to say about it and how celeb couples deal with it in the offline world.
It’s a man’s world
Filmmaker Vikram Bhatt, who has a slew of A-rated films to his credit, says he has often come across actors who had reservations in doing an intimate scene either because the partner wouldn’t like it or the family won’t. “It’s not surprising that women are trolled. And it’s not only about films, it’s everywhere. Men are never answerable for what they do, whereas women are always answerable. That’s the way our society functions. Unfortunately, there’s nothing much one can do about it. And it’s not just in films, we’ve seen even when there is a ghastly act like a rape or molestation, we find people saying, ‘Oh, she invited it, she wore clothes like that. She kind of provoked or incited them.’ This kind of mentality exists,” he says.
Actress Somy Ali too has received flak for her bold songs like the one in ‘Anth’ with Suniel Shetty, or ‘Aao Pyar Karein’ with Saif Ali Khan. “Because we are a sexist society and in spite of us being in 2022, male domination prevails. Patriarchal culture and that mindset of women requiring permission to even breathe, first from their parents, then from their spouses, remains to be the status quo in our society’s mindset. However, I will say that there is immense progression in terms of married actresses still pursuing a career. This was not the case 20 years ago. Once an actress got married, she was expected to be a housewife, a mother and that would be her sole identity. Thus, to see actresses such as Madhuri Dixit and Deepika Padukone, as well as others who are married pursuing an acting career gives us a light at the end of the tunnel. Given I had come from the US, these criticisms did not impact me. If I had worried about what the media or others said behind my back during my time in the industry, I wouldn’t have survived at all,” she shares.
Bhojpuri actress Monalisa has made her mark even in the Hindi GEC space with her shows like ‘Nazar’ and ‘Namak Issk Ka’. She is married to Bhojpuri actor Vikraant Singh and both have had a number of films that required them to do intimate scenes with other actors. Says Monalisa, “It’s beyond me why people troll actresses the way they do. I get trolled so many times. People write such wrong things about me and my work. Some people would tell Vikraant what kind of girl he is going out with. In earlier times, it was a big deal for a girl to pursue acting. I come from a humble background and it was not an easy journey for me either. People looked down upon this career and the kind of role I do. But now I feel the mindset has changed and people are more accepting of acting as a career option for a girl. Slowly but definitely the perception is changing.”
Veteran actress Kunika Lal says this mentality is ‘completely wrong’. “Every human being should have the agency over their body, they must have the right to choose what they want to wear or do. It has always been a man’s world where the woman has to take permission. Sanskaar, maan-maryada has always been the responsibility of the woman. That’s ridiculous! We are in 2022, and it’s high time people realised that there are working women who are adding to the GDP of the country and adding great value to the progress of the country. Everywhere in the world, especially in countries where equality is respected, people can make their own decisions. I think Deepika Padukone has done a wonderful job in ‘Gehraiyaan’,” she opines.
“We cannot deny the fact that women are still looked down upon as a weaker sex. Due to this mindset, all sorts of conditions are conveniently laid on women, sometimes in the name of culture, religion or sanskar. The concept of Bhartiya Naari is very much prevalent here, but what about Bhartiya Nar? Have you ever come across this term? Men are just men. So why cant women be just women? We as women do not need extra power or upliftment, it’s the society which needs to change their mindset. We are self-sufficient and powerful. Time and again we have proved it, be it Rani Laxmibai, Indira Gandhi, Kalpana Chawla, Mary Kom, Malala Yousafzai or recently, the gutsy girl Muskan of Karnataka,” says veteran actress Rehana Sultan of ‘Dastak’ (1970) fame.
Psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty weighs in on the belief system of the society. He says, “Apart from Deepika Padukone being a successful actress, Deepika and Ranveer Singh are known as a stable, strong and successful couple. She is perceived as a wife more than Ranveer seen as the husband in recent times. The woman today is yet seen as a symbol of purity and holds the mantle of the superego of mankind. She is the conscience keeper of the human race and not the man. She defines the morals of what is right and wrong where the line of demarcation is very clear between the two. She cannot err nor violate nor cross the boundaries, man is not assigned the role.”
They are only doing ‘the job’
That just about sums up right. Perhaps this one statement alone should shut the patriarchal views around actresses and their work. As Vikram Bhatt rightly puts, “There is something called a job profile. If you are, say, a soldier, you have to sometimes risk your life. If you are a film director, you have to deal with criticism. An actor’s job profile is that they have to play a character. The job profile includes intimacy. If they don’t want to do it, that’s another matter. But by doing it, she (Deepika) is not doing anything that an actor should not do. She has been a very professional actor and she has done exactly what the role demands. It’s a normal thing that should not even be discussed in this century. And Deepika didn’t become an actress after her marriage. She has been an actress before that. So why are people suddenly expecting her to restrict her work?”
Monalisa adds saying that it’s an outdated thinking that exists in the society. “When I am in front of the camera, I am the character and not Monalisa. As actors, we understand that it is our job as artistes. So there is no inhibition while facing the camera. That’s how we can do justice to our work. I have watched ‘Gehraiyaan’, and it’s such a beautiful story, a modern story of relationships that is very coming of age. But even in today’s times, actresses are questioned for their career decisions because it is an age old thinking that persists,” she says.
It’s a personal decision
What does it matter what and how and why and with whom and where is an actress doing what she is doing? “If a person is comfortable and not feeling guilty or conscious doing whatever one wants to do, then why does he or she need permission?” questions Rehana Sultan. “For me, if I am happy and confident then definitely I will not bother to take anyone’s permission. If Deepika is comfortable with her role, then what is wrong in doing it? I have done the role because I liked it. I liked the character of Seema and Salma and I didn my part very sincerely. That’s all. Neither was I guilty then, nor am I now. Acceptance or rejection has never bothered me. I was comfortable with what I was doing and that is what matters,” she asserts.
Actor Eijaz Khan thinks it’s ridiculous that we are seeing it through this prism in today’s times. “Why does a woman have to seek permission? What era are we living in? You cannot see a career from the gaze of a man or a woman. You can’t say that because Deepika is a woman, she should ask her husband, or because Ranveer is a man, he should ask his wife. We are nobody to do that. Let them decide what to do with their career, how to take decisions because they are in a marriage. If they want to have honest discussions about this or take permission, it is their call. It’s not anyone’s place to question their morality,” he says.
Communication is the key
With so much negativity on the internet and in the outside world, anybody can crumble under the weight of judgements and opinions, and the pressure of performance and making a career. At such times it helps if couples keep the communication channels open.
Monalisa “Being a married couple, we have that kind of understanding between us. The love between us is next level. So whatever we do onscreen things doesn’t affect our personal relationship. He knows who I am as a person. Vikraant was very possessive initially. At times, he gets affected when I do intimate scenes. But we talk about it and sort it out. He knew I was an actress well before we started dating each other. He knew the kind of roles I’d be required to do in my profession.”
“It hurts a lot when people troll. Vikraant has often helped me to deal with it. He is very positive that way. He reminds me that we should focus on our relationship and not care what outsiders are talking about,” she adds.
Asked if he takes ‘permission’ from Pavitra Punia before choosing his roles, Eijaz Khan says, “Permission is a very loaded word when it comes to career choices. We have honest discussions about everything. If we are in love, intentionally we will not do anything to hurt each other.”
Casting director Kavish Sinha thinks permissions are passé as long as there’s trust. “If anyone needs to seek permission, it should be the husbands as they’re generally more frivolous on sets. I’ve never really faced a challenge since there’s always an understanding between actors and their spouses over such things. I think it’s beautiful because they understand each others’ line of work and trust wholeheartedly,” he says.
Agreeing that it’s a male-dominated society, Vikraant Singh says there have been some positive changes too. “I’ve never questioned Monalisa about her career choices, nor has she questioned mine. We are in the same profession and we know our job. So it doesn’t matter when outsiders comment on our roles or on our relationship. My followers sometimes comment on my pages being well wishers. They have a lot to say about my wife, but they don’t know her the way I know her as my wife. I believe you can never please everyone. And I don’t care about the comments. We make our career choices independently, we make our own decisions,” he says.
“There have been several instances when Monalisa has been bogged down by online comments, sometimes it affects her for days. I have to keep reassuring her that they do not matter and that she shouldn’t get affected. Kuch toh log kahenge, logo ka kaam hai kehna. You have to see if the person who is talking even matters. We have to focus on our work and our relationship,” concludes Vikraant.
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